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George's Marvellous Medicine
Roald Dahl
Listens 294    Comments 22    
Recorded: 06/29/2009
Notes: An extract from a children's story by the author of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'. I just love Dahl's grotesquely comic stories!>> Grandma Gets The Medicine>> Grandma sat hunched in her chair by the window. The wicked little eyes followed George closely as he crossed the room towards her. 'You're late,' she snapped. 'I don't think I am, Grandma.'>> 'Don't interrupt me in the middle of a sentence!' she shouted. 'But you'd finished your sentence, Grandma.' 'There you go again!' she cried. 'Always interrupting and arguing. You really are a tiresome little boy. What's the time?'>> 'It's exactly eleven o'clock, Grandma.' 'You're lying as usual. Stop talking so much and give me my medicine. Shake the bottle first. Then pour it into the spoon and make sure it's a whole spoonful.'>> 'Are you going to gulp it all down in one go?' George asked her. 'Or will you sip it?' 'What I do is none of your business,' the old woman said. 'Fill the spoon.'>> As George removed the cork and began very slowly to pour the thick brown stuff into the spoon, he couldn't help thinking back upon all the mad and marvellous things that had gone into the making of this crazy stuff — the shaving soap, the hair remover, the dandruff cure, the automatic washing-machine powder, the flea powder for dogs, the shoe polish, the black pepper, the horseradish sauce and all the rest of them, not to mention the powerful animal pills and powders and liquids . . . and the brown paint.>> 'Open your mouth wide, Grandma,' he said, 'and I'll pop it in.' The old hag opened her small wrinkled mouth, showing disgusting pale brown teeth. 'Here we go!' George cried out. 'Swallow it down!' He pushed the spoon well into her mouth and tipped the mixture down her throat. Then he stepped back to watch the result. It was worth watching. Grandma yelled 'Oweeeee!' and her whole body shot up whoosh into the air. It was exactly as though someone had pushed an electric wire through the underneath of her chair and switched on the current. Up she went like a jack-in-the-box . . . and she didn't come down . . . she stayed there . . . suspended in mid air . . . about two feet up . . . still in a sitting position . . . but rigid now . . . frozen . . . quivering . . . the eyes bulging . . . the hair standing straight up on end.>> 'Is something wrong, Grandma?' George asked her politely. 'Are you all right?' Suspended up there in space, the old girl was beyond speaking. The shock that George's marvellous mixture had given her must have been tremendous. You'd have thought she'd swallowed a red-hot poker the way she took off from that chair. Then down she came again with a plop, back into her seat.>> 'Call the fire brigade!' she shouted suddenly. ¡My stomach's on fire!' 'It's just the medicine, Grandma,' George said. 'It's good strong stuff.' 'Fire!' the old woman yelled. 'Fire in the basement! Get a bucket! Man the hoses! Do something quick!'>> 'Cool it, Grandma,' George said. But he got a bit of a shock when he saw the smoke coming out of her mouth and out of her nostrils. Clouds of black smoke were coming out of her nose and blowing around the room.>> 'By golly, you really are on fire,' George said. 'Of course I'm on fire!' she yelled. 'I'll be burned to a crisp! I'll be fried to a frizzle! I'll be boiled like a beetroot!'>> George ran into the kitchen and came back with a jug of water. 'Open your mouth, Grandma!' he cried. He could hardly see her for the smoke, but he managed to pour half a jugful down her throat. A sizzling sound, the kind you get if you hold a hot frying-pan under a cold tap, came up from deep down in Grandma's stomach. The old hag bucked and shied and snorted. She gasped and gurgled. Spouts of water came shooting out of her. And the smoke cleared away.>> 'The fire's out', George announced proudly. 'You'll be all right now, Grandma.' 'All right?' she yelled. 'Who's all right? There's jacky-jumpers in my tummy! There's squigglers in my belly! There's bangers in my bottom!' She began bouncing up and down in the chair. Quite obviously she was not very comfortable.>> 'You'll find it's doing you a lot of good, that medicine, Grandma,' George said. 'Good? she screamed. 'Doing me good? It's killing me!>> Then she began to bulge. She was swelling! She was puffing up all over! Someone was pumping her up, That's how it looked! Was she going to explode? Her face was turning from purple to green!
I appreciate your kind comments, Divya
and I'm glad you liked it!
Posted by Conchita on 10/18/2009.
ARTISTA!!! *********
Posted by silbaril on 10/08/2009.
Mil gracias y otro abrazo para ti,
querida Sil.
Posted by Conchita on 10/18/2009.
Posted by saverio on 10/02/2009.
Grazie, grazie dei commenti, caro
Posted by Conchita on 10/18/2009.
OMG, this is too good!! You're one heck
of a storyteller!! I love it, I LOVE
IT!! :)
Posted by Mr_Bassman on 08/16/2009.
Thanks so much, Yngve!
Posted by Conchita on 08/19/2009.
Disfruto tu narración,es excelente!!!
no comprendo mucho pero valoro tu
talento, el dominio de tu garganta para
hacer las voces,tan espectacularmente
como lo hacen los actores :)
************* ABRAZOS!!!
Posted by pagarvi on 07/20/2009.
Muchísimas gracias, Pati, y besos para
Posted by Conchita on 08/19/2009.
I have the same question as BigLover:

Was that only you? Or you and Hermione
I distinctly heard two voices.
Haha, so funny, Conchita. So good.

I'm off to the library to check out
this Roald Dahl.
Posted by HowardH on 07/04/2009.
Thanks, Howard!

(I didn't know Hermione Gingold, so had
to check her out on YouTube!).
Posted by Conchita on 08/19/2009.
Ah, yes, she's an old-time British
actress with a raspy voice somewhat like

I just went to youtube, too, to see
what you might have found there.
"What's My Line?" LOL.
Starting about 3:35.
Ah, but it's only her normal speaking
voice! We need to find her playing "the
old hag" somewhere. (Her "Yep" and
"Nope" are close, hahaha.)

I didn't realize before, how many of
Roald Dahl's stories I was already
familiar with! Jut didn't know hi name.
Posted by HowardH on 08/19/2009.
cool story...

P.s : IF u have time, com listen to
some of my renditions... but if u don't
its not a problem :)

P.P. i kinda heard 2 different voices,
was that only u ?
Posted by BigLover on 07/04/2009.
Thanks, BigLover!
Posted by Conchita on 08/19/2009.
ESPECTACULAR!!!! ************
Posted by silbaril on 07/03/2009.
¡Muchísimas gracias, Sil!

Besos para ti.
Posted by Conchita on 08/19/2009.
Conchita : this is TOO MUCH !! C'est G E
N I A L ! And you are doing an EXCELLENT
grandma :D))))))...I listened twice
without interruption and I will
again....and I also adore Roald Dahl !
I really enjoyed a first class "one
man(woman) show" ! 5 big stars !
Posted by misspronce on 06/30/2009.
So glad you enjoyed it, Lara - thanks a
Posted by Conchita on 08/19/2009.
No ho sbagliato favola
Posted by brusal57 on 06/29/2009.
Cappuccetto rosso in italy ahahahahaah
.............. Baciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
................ Ciaooooooooooooooooooo
Posted by brusal57 on 06/29/2009.
G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G
R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R
E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E
A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A
T .. G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A
T.. G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A T
.. G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A T
.. G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A T
.. G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A T
.. G R E A T .. G R E A T .. G R E A T
.. G R E A T
Posted by brusal57 on 06/29/2009.
Grazie mille, Bruno!

Un bacio.
Posted by Conchita on 08/19/2009.
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